In her new memoir The Woman I Wanted To Be, Diane von Furstenberg details her extraordinary life – from her fairy tale marriage to a prince to the creation of the iconic wrap dress.
Yet despite the 67-year-old’s successful career, the memoir is not just about fashion, though it is ripe with business and life advice; rather it is an ode to New York, to love, to family. Most importantly, it is about living as the woman you want to be. For von Furstenberg, that means independent, resilient, perhaps a bit stubborn. Always looking to the future, and adapting to change, while embracing love and passion. “Love is life is love,” is, naturally, her motto.
And while von Furstenberg tells tales of her many great love affairs – with Prince Edward Egon von und zu Furstenberg, her late first husband; with Barry Diller, her long-time lover and now husband; and even with Richard Gere (it was short-lived) – the book is most moving as a tribute to her late mother, Lily, a Holocaust survivor, and all of the lessons Lily instilled in her daughter.
“ ‘God has saved my life so that I can give you life.’ Her words resonate with me every day of my life,” von Furstenberg writes in the chapter on her mother. “I feel it is my duty to make up for all the suffering she endured, to always celebrate freedom and live fully. My birth was her triumph. She was not supposed to survive; I was not supposed to be born. We proved them wrong. We both won the day I was born.”
A brand relaunch, a new studio in the Meatpacking District (in fact, von Furstenberg was one of the earliest supporters of the High Line park, which runs right by her studio) and a new management team — son Alexander led the restructuring of the company and remains a partner — propelled her company back to success. Forty years after the creation of the dress that started it all, and von Furstenberg is back on top.
Now, in addition to her memoir, she has a new coffee table book, Journey of a Dress, a “visual odyssey celebrating” the 40th birthday of the wrap dress and an E! reality television show, “House of DVF.”
Here, the designer discusses everything from the lessons her mother taught her to the legacy she hopes to leave behind.
What do you consider your mother’s most enduring influence on your life?
Her enduring optimism, her strength. My mother taught me that fear is not an option and that has served me well throughout my life. It has made me more willing to take risks and that is so important.
You mention many times that you had “a man’s life in a woman’s body.” Has that changed over the years at all as women have become more free and independent in the mainstream? Do you still think of your current life that way?
Well, gratefully, yes, that has changed and it becomes less about a man’s life and more about being a confident woman. I always knew that I wanted to be an independent woman, that I wanted to have my own career, that I wanted to pay my own bills.
In what way has the fashion industry most changed since you started? What does that mean for the industry as a whole?
I think it has become more democratic. Now it is much easier to share and to have dialogues When I first started, I had to wake up at 5 a.m. and fly to Texas to meet my customers there. Now I can post an instagram or tweet something and I immediately get feedback. As someone who has always been about dialogue, I think it is fantastic.
How is marriage with Barry different from your pre-wedding relationship?
Barry turned out to be the most consistent man in my life. He won!
What was the most important thing about yourself that you learned during the “Lost Period”?
I learned that fashion is a form of expression for me, that without it, I feel a little bit stuck and unable to communicate. It is part of who I am. And I always talk about confidence, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of doubt and insecurity. Of course I do, and that’s what that time was for me. But I learned that it’s about how you respond to that, how you bounce back and find clarity and find a way to be true to yourself. Your failures are your best lessons.
What do you consider the legacy of the wrap dress? What do you hope is your legacy?
The wrap dress is all about the woman. It is about freedom and power and confidence. It is about being sexy and serious and effortless. It is really all about empowering women, and I hope that is my legacy. Through fashion and philanthropy and mentoring, I have always tried to empower women to be the woman they want to be.
What lessons have your children and grandchildren inherited from you?
Love…hard work…honesty.
When do you think you first became The Woman She Wanted to Be? Will you ever stop trying to achieve it?
Really, with the early success of the wrap dress, I started to feel that and I remember they were selling all over the country and they put me on the cover of Newsweek and that felt pretty good. It felt like I was living the American Dream.
But you know, then it wasn’t so good for a while, and then it was what I call the Comeback Kid phase when I re-launched the company and it has been great again. And yes, with the exhibition, I started to admit the power of that little dress, and I started to realize its role in helping me to become that woman.
What’s next?
Well, there’s the book and we also have a docu-series with E!, “House of DVF”, which premieres on Sunday, November 2. We just opened our first Wrap Shop in Glendale in Southern California and we have a few more shops opening in Santa Monica and The Grove…so it is a very exciting time!